This week in moronic protests: the “complain first, think later” ethic of the imbecile fringe has even spread to once-common-sensical Midwestern cities like Chicago. The Target chain of department stores recently drafted a plan to build a shiny new store in the troubled ‘hood of Rogers Park, bringing jobs and low-income housing; all goodies the left supposedly wants for the little man. And yet the usual professional protectors of the welfare state came out howling anyway.
|These people have no idea why they don't want a Target. But they were lonely.|
This project is highly charitable of Target, if foolish: Rogers Park is a gang-blighted and retail-retarded shitpit where two of three restaurants don’t open till five, the dollar store is the only place to buy household supplies, and the Dunkin Donuts needs a plexiglas barricade at night to protect its employees from the local ne’er-do-wells.
The mini-Target will come coupled with a complex of new apartments, 60 percent of which are earmarked for Their Majesties the Public Housing Clients; aside from bringing in retail jobs, the Target would finally give locals a place to buy laundry detergent that doesn’t smell like a Mexican chemical factory. But it’s never enough. A diverse group of morons with nothing more productive to do—students and Baby Boomer retirees, in other words, along with a rag-tag band of SSI recipients—packed their smelly bodies into a Board of Commissioners meeting to wave signs and howl “Fuck you!” At least they didn’t set the commissioners on fire.
|The dirty Plexiglas window behind which Dunkin Donuts employees in Rogers Park cower at night. How dare Target try to improve our shithole? We're doing fine!|
The protesters failed to articulate why the Target will be literally Hitler, apart from taking business away from the single, independently-owned, always overcrowded grocery store in the neighborhood, whereby one guy profits from the crappy shopping experience of all of his neighbors. Never mind that this grocer’s single strong point is produce, which everybody knows you shouldn’t buy at Target anyway.
Instead, they went on waggling their scrawled signs righteously, in imitation of the Californian cretins who have made firebombing fabulous faggots the fashion in the champagne socialist set. The upside of the Internet is that we can fact check the mainstream press. The downside is that leftist zest for blubbing about non-problems can metastasize like pancreatic cancer.