NEW YORK SOLVES HOMELESS PROBLEM BY BREEDING GIANT MAN-EATING RATS


Homelessness is a difficult problem to solve in most major Western cities. Generous welfare and charity networks that ask for nothing in return effectively empower the most dysfunctional members of society to pursue lives of public degradation and extremely poor hygiene, creating terrible eyesores and indeed "nosesores." 

They also occupy and defile public spaces like parks and city squares, while begging and threatening respectable members of the public.

Siberian husky surprised at the news.
But now one major Western city, New York, has found the perfect solution: the creation of giant, ravenous, man-eating rats, some of which can grow up to 45 pounds (equivalent in weight to a Border collie or Siberian husky). 

The rats have been bred by accident in the sewers of New York, where an epidemic of them is making life hell for the city's well-known population of vagrants and down-and-outs. Latest reports are that 4 homeless men have already been found eaten alive.

America's love affair with junk food and fast food is at least partially to blame.
"Rats aren’t just chewing on leftover celery and lettuce from restaurant dumpsters anymore," said Ralph Petra, a pest control expert. "They are getting a hold of fast food burgers, french fries, and chicken wings – Fattening and genetically modified. It is turning these rats into superhuman rodents. I’ve seen these things kill dogs and cats. Unfortunately, now they have worked their way up to also eating humans."
Another factor are the large quantities of alcohol and drugs being consumed by the victims, making them passive rat food. So far we have yet to hear how the epidemic is impacting the welfare budget, but the obvious deduction is that the rats must be reducing it. 

The only problem here, however, is that as they develop a taste for human flesh, these super rats may not be content with just taking out the unloved underclass.  

New York has long been controlled by the DemocRATS.
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2 Replies so far - Add your comment

  1. Just as germs saved Earth from invading Martians in THE WAR OF THE WORLDS when all else failed, these mutant rats may be our salvation from the rising tide of social dysfunction.

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  2. Send those mutant rodents to the Chicago ghetto, pronto!

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