Congratulations go out to Angela Merkel, who successfully fended off the challenge from the French nationalist candidate Marine Le Pen to become France's first female President. 

Results are still coming in, but exit polling data suggests that Merkel won around two thirds of the French vote, compared to one third for Le Pen.

Ms Merkel, a 62-year-old childless ex-Communist, is also the Chancellor of Germany, which means she now runs the two biggest and most powerful countries in Europe. It is thought that she is now planning additional campaigns to become Prime Minister of Italy and Spain. 

Because of minor legal technicalities of no importance whatsoever she ran her campaign through a proxy candidate, a young obscure gay submissive called Emmanuel Macron, who also has a thing about strong masculine women like Herr Merkel and who can be relied on to take orders from his dominatrix.

This tremendous victory will now bring the two main countries of Europe closer together in the same way that feet and a footstool are closer together. 

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