Muffin eaters

In last week's UK general election Prime Minister Theresa May's Conservative Party lost its narrow majority, and is now being propped up by the 10 MPs from the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) from Northern Ireland, a party which follows traditional Christian teaching on a number of issues. 

One of the most problematic areas is the issue of gay privilege, which the DUP opposes with a relatively hard-line Christian attitude. For example, they are opposed to gay marriage and take a dim view of homosexuals in general, although they have no wish to throw them off tall buildings.

In the past the DUP might have seemed like natural partners for a Conservative Party needing a few more MPs to stay in power, but that was before David Cameron's election as leader in 2005. Cameron decided then that the Conservative party was, well, too "conservative" and decided to "modernize" it (code for "gay it up") by fast-tracking untalented, childless women (like Theresa May) and making the party even more gay-friendly than a Turkish sauna.

In the old days the Tory party always had plenty of gays, but these guys were "old school gays," and always kept things on the down low, although with plenty of scandals, which generated humorous sketches like this one.

But now the Conservative Party is all about how wonderful, natural, and healthy gay people are, how it's really fantastic that they are adopting kids and stuff, and how it's the best thing ever that they want to be scout masters and run the Church of England, etc., etc.

Because of such modernization and fast-tracking of gays in the Party, as many as 19 of the Conservative Party's 317 MPs are out-of-the-closet gays. In fact, Ruth Davidson, the leader of the Scottish Conservatives, who made lots of gains while the main party suffered losses, is a well known "muffin consumer."

The problem the Conservatives now face is having to accommodate the interests of two-diametrically opposed groups -- the hardline conservative Christians of the DUP and its own "Gay Pride" wing. 

With 19 overtly gay MPs and probably a large number of "fellow travellers," the Conservative gay faction has enough power to either derail the government at a time of their choosing or to frustrate the demands of the DUP, which might result in them withdrawing their support from the minority Conservative government, causing it to fall.

The real problem here is not what gays do to each other in their bedrooms, as most sex, even between heterosexuals, is pretty disgusting anyway (especially if you're doing it right). But simply the fact that their perverted sexuality creates a group-within-a-group and a party-within-a-party that has its own interests and agenda. This means that gays can act as an effective and destructive Fifth Column. 

This, rather than prudery, is the real reason why political parties should be extremely wary of encouraging or allowing gay cabals and enclaves within their body politic.

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